Emma Blackery
Wednesday 26 December 2018
53 comments
Boxing Day is just like Black Friday - an overhyped opportunity for your favourite brands to offload their extra stock - most of the time, the sales are filled with things that won't work going into the next season in every size except yours. However, I took the time to scour my favourite sites for some genuinely good deals that I would indulge in myself.
For those of you who aren't able to view the plugin above, here is my list:
Emma Blackery
Saturday 22 December 2018
29 comments
In case you thought the title of this blog post is a bit strange, it's a direct quote taken from my brand new video! I've been so excited to share this brand new video style with you all (as well as my new Instagram video edit!) for days because it really is the start of something new for me! I know I often dart between ideas and what I'm passionate about, but I have learned to accept that changing my style rapidly is part of what makes me unique. Perhaps changing so often is my own special 'thing'.
Anyway, here are the products featured in this video (also in the video description!)
For transparency's sake - I liked this photo that I posted over on my Instagram and wanted and excuse to post it here, too. That's why you're getting this short, inconsequential blog post.
This morning, after my morning alarm rang at 9am, I did what I always do - I checked social media. Bad habit, I know, and I'll be damned if I'll ever defeat it. Social media, whether naysayers like it or not, is my job, and after posting my sponsored YouTube video last night, I was eager to see what you guys were saying in the comments.
Now, as always, there was a wave of lovely, positive comments - some complimenting me, some complimenting my office, others joking about how I should make videos with my friend Dan again - all wonderful, nice to read, but I will admit something here that I fear may sound ridiculous:
After almost seven years of praise and compliments for what I create, sometimes... in fact, let's be real, most times... I tend to gloss over them. I don't know if this is down to a deeply-rooted sense of insecurity, but comments from people I don't know saying how nice I look, or how I've helped them... sometimes it's hard to let them in. Is it because I can't possibly imagine them to be true? Is it because accepting them as truth is acknowledging that I have a responsibility to far more people than I realise? Regardless of what it is, I do what many creators tend to do - I seek out negativity. Writing that down into this post is surreal. What a bizarre thing to possibly do! Why look for cruel comments?
Well, I'm not a psychologist, and I'm sure most of you are with me on that (unless you are a psychologist, in which case, that's awesome and the world needs you!) but whatever the reason, it doesn't matter - I found what I was looking for.
"She looks prego! [sic]"
There were a few more along these lines, but the fool in me quickly deleted them - I don't remember what they said word-for-word, but they were attacking my style choice of an oversized shirt, saying I'm 'piling on the pounds', that my legs were looking 'a bit too big' - don't get me wrong, it was only a handful. There was more talk about my figure online outside of the comments section, but quite honestly, fuck their noise. What hurt was the influx of comments on an office tour vlog that focused primarily on the fact that yes, I've gained weight recently. I began re-taking the contraceptive pill a couple of months ago. Poor mental health & moving house has meant takeaways, snacking on two (three, four...) bags of potato crisps before dinner, drinking a couple of ciders to relax with my partner... and I think the reason these comments irked me today more than any other day is because it felt as though the Internet was seeing what I've been trying to hide from myself - that I'm far from my healthiest self.
So with all that said, is it time for a crash diet? Time to bust out the yoga three times a day? Well, no. If and when I decide to alter my diet (which affects my body, and my health) I will only ever do it for me, and not because some anonymous commenters on the Internet have told me to. I immediately feel foolish for even beginning to justify any changes in my body shape in the previous paragraph. My body weight fluctuates and I know it will settle back down, and by making a huge post about it, I feel as though I've let the trolls win - no longer.
I'm going to live my life the way I want, work hard, and continue to kick life's ass to the point where I don't have time to sit down and conjure up nasty shit to say to people online. I snapped myself out of my funk by seeing my dad, filming two videos, tidying my house, posting the above photo on Instagram and now I'm off to listen to Ben Folds, edit those two videos and then cross off some more things on my to-do list. I'm going to remind myself that I'm living my best life, here and now, with a partner who loves my body the way it is, and remember that I'm far too much of a boss to lose a day of work to a couple of comments.
So, long time no post. I shouldn't be amused that something so relatively new as this blog can already be falling behind in terms of posting, but there is something to be said of my consistent... inconsistency.
On that topic, let's talk about time. Last night whilst doing the dishes, I was switched on to a video by a creator known as Chubbyemu (Bernard is behind one of my all-time favourite YouTube channels - I find his Medical Monday videos absolutely fascinating!) that describes the concept of relating your success to time-based goals in such a compelling, articulate way that I could never attempt to do myself. I urge you to pop this video on this evening and really listen to what Bernard says - it doesn't matter how long it takes for you to achieve success, and achieving success later than you imagined does not equal failure. What matters is that you continue to chase your goals, in spite of failures and setbacks, and remembering that you are supposed to arrive at your goals as the person you have grown to become at that certain time.
The end of December is typically dedicated to reflecting on the past twelve months and looking towards the new year in terms of personal development - and the rise of use in social media has contributed to an absurd amount of pressure to be at your absolute best as soon as January 1st rolls around. Let me state right here and now that any form of self-improvement is a gradual, consistent journey - you will never be fully happy with your life and how you perceive yourself as a person, no matter how many self-help books or bloggers tell you to 'just accept yourself and your flaws'. Whilst that sounds very nice, the lack of ability to accept yourself in practice (after being told how simple life will be after you manage it) may result in you feeling worse - why is it that you're being told to be happy with yourself as you are, and yet you cannot be? You will always chase more success. You will always believe you could (in theory...) wake up earlier. You could always make more time for friends.
It is the acceptance that change is not only gradual (if you set up a goal to achieve with immediate effect, you will fail, and feel the burn of failure) but consistent throughout your life that will open your mind to be more accepting of your perceived setbacks and more embracing of your perceived flaws. It is also a common mistake to set New Years resolutions that are merely a carbon copy of somebody else's. Although 'go to the gym twice a week' sounds good when someone else tweets it out, if you do not sincerely believe it is a change that is manageable - and genuinely beneficial to your life - you will not achieve it.
One way to create achievable, realistic resolutions is to flip the concept on its head - instead of immediately (blindly) looking for generic things you can improve, look back at some things you wish you had done better/more of this year. For example, here are a few things I believe I could have done in 2018:
I could have read more books. I could have read one book. I literally got through the majority of one book of North Korean fiction during train journeys, and a small portion of Lily Allen's autobiography during a two-hour flight to Oslo (which I have yet to return to!)
I could have created more content - not necessarily videos, but looked at blogging and other platforms earlier in the year.
I could have eaten healthier - once again, I slipped into binge-eating entire share bags of potato crisps which - while delicious - has had a noticeable impact on my health and energy levels.
I could have tried harder to wake up at an earlier time in the mornings - on days where I did have an early start I was always amazed at just how much can be accomplished before lunch, and I enjoy the feeling of completing every task I set out for myself for a whole day.
I could have taken more time to assess what type of video content truly makes me happy to create - earlier in the year I convinced myself that trying a popular format that others were doing would make me successful, and in turn, that would make me happy and I would slowly begin to enjoy that content. That is not the correct way to find pride in your work.
Knowing that I personally let myself down on these aspects does not fill me with shame - whilst shame can be a good emotion for progress, the power of positive thinking (if you are in a healthy enough frame of mind to create it) is so much stronger than the feeling of disappointment. I know that all of these personally-perceived 'failings' are things I can gradually and consistently improve on, and whilst I am not aiming to have all of these resolutions completed perfectly by the end of 2019, stepping into the new year, I will begin to really focus on:
Reading more books (I am not setting a numerical target - time and amount-based goals imply deadlines, and that is not the way I wish to improve on myself)
Increasing video production (I have tons of ideas that I am really passionate about so I believe this will be a natural progression for me next year)
Beginning to giving thought into creating a podcast, and, if a format seems doable and enjoyable for me, create one (would you listen to me rambling about certain topics? Do you have suggestions?)
Looking towards learning to cook more meals from scratch and relying less on ready meals;not going shopping on an empty stomach as this leads to buying too many snacks (but no way am I cutting out snacks entirely, crisps are life)
On certain allocated days where I wish to be very productive, aiming to wake up earlier (and go to bed hydrated the night before)
Only making video content that I truly believe in, and if I am not 100% proud whilst filming and editing, then do not upload it.
I understand that looking at what you deem to be 'failures' in order to create resolutions is not for everyone - however, I cannot and will not ever buy into this idea that we can ever be truly happy with everything we do, or fully accepting of who we are as people. Whilst I love this idea in theory, in practice it breeds social media competition, jealousy, shame, and a feeling of failure when we no longer see ourselves as 'perfect' the way we are. I am choosing to skip the negative feelings and already accept that I will always create new ways to improve on myself, and I welcome the idea that becoming a better human in my own eyes gradually and consistently for the rest of my life is the right way forward.
Also, as I touched upon earlier - do not make a resolution just for the sake of it, and do not set yourself a deadline of December 31st - once again (and for the final time!) genuine change is gradual and consistent throughout your entire life. New Years resolutions should not be about what you aim to achieve in one year - they should be little ways to live out the rest of your life as a happier human being that slowly become reality over any amount of time.
I've spoken in the past - in fact, just yesterday on Twitter - how I don't really 'buy' in (get it?) to the Black Friday mass hysteria. A day once celebrated for absurd savings on things like televisions, it seems as though every retailer now jumps onto the discount bandwagon. Consumerism is at an all time high - and, whilst I'm sure you don't want to hear this on what is essentially a haul post, it is having some severe side-effects.
With all that said - I'm a hypocrite. Because I totally gave in, too. More of my thoughts about this after I show you what I grabbed:
So firstly, shoes. I never used to be a huge shoe lover - I had my Vans slip-ons, I had some frumpy black boots, and that was all I needed. Even up until very recently, I owned a lot more workout trainers (that I never wore, because I never work out...) than brogues and boots. As I began to follow more style blogs, I realised the importance of a good all-around shoe, particularly if you turn up your jeans at the bottom like I do. I have never been good with high heels, and I'm over the moon that I've finally found a style that allows for loafers and brogues. The closer my heels are to the ground, the better I am as a human being, believe me.
I bought two pairs of black ASOS Design loafers with slightly pointed tips - one pair in suede, and one in leather. I also finally gave in and indulged in a pair of flat Dr Martens, which I have wanted for so incredibly long. I'm personally very much over the high-top look, and once you've broken them in (ouch!) Dr Martens are some of the most comfortable shoes you'll ever get. Dr Martens also have vegan alternatives to their range, so anyone (with a sadistic view on their bank balance) can enjoy a pair of their own.
Finally, I knew I needed to invest in a pair of statement shoes - for times where my outfit is very monochrome, where no piece has a pattern - these leopard print babies will pick up the slack. Slightly heeled, but not high enough to cause me discomfort - these loafers will add height as well as a pop of colour to a look. Just remind me not to wear a snakeskin headscarf so I don't end up looking like a trophy hunter!
All products on ASOS are 20% off with the code HELLO20 until 8am on Tuesday 27th November.
You may or may not have noticed that a new staple in my wardrobe is a pair of large, thin 'gold' hoops. My current pair are from H&M, and, whilst they do their job, they are a little on the flimsy side. Nothing wrong with cheap and cheerful! However, I figured whilst I was shopping on Black Friday (I fell into the trap!) I would look around for some stronger, slightly smaller alternatives. These pairs by Steve Madden and French Connection respectively both seem a little stronger, and I believe they will serve as great replacements for my current hoops. I'm particularly excited about the Steve Madden open hoops - a style I've never worn before!
Finally, a couple of extras from ASOS - my heart broke the other night as I reached into the washing machine to grab my Stradivarius striped jumper, only to find that I'd completely ruined it. Whilst I thought everything in my dark wash was colour safe... alas, it was not. The soft cream stripes are now a miserable, weird grey tone. Black and grey stripes? Not on-brand for me, compadre. Black and white stripes have been a long-term staple in my wardrobe for many years, and whilst I was hoping to carry my Stradivarius jumper into my new look, fate (and bad washing decisions) intervened. I picked up a cheaper alternative at Pimkie via ASOS for a casual look, as the wide stripes seem to be about the same width as the ones on my deceased ex-jumper.
I also picked up a headscarf from Rock 'N' Rose on ASOS, because of course I did. Not much to say about that one. I'm collecting cool headscarves. It might turn out to be the worst collection video of all time one day.
Finally, last but not least - I really indulged. It was at this moment that I realised Black Friday had well and truly caught me. I am a huge, huge All Saints fan, but I tend to hold back as much as I can - despite their high-quality clothing, their prices are often pretty steep. However, with the 30% Black Friday discount, I finally let loose and invested in two striped pieces (of course they're striped...) that I've had my eye on for a while. The striped Marcel jumper has narrower stripes than the Pimkie jumper above, but will look wonderful underneath a leather jacket or long tan or black coat due to its basic design.
The Marcel striped cardigan was a love at first sight product for me - I have never been much of a cardigan wearer, but I have been extremely inspired by style bloggers pulling out these bad boys over the last couple of months for the Autumn/Winter season. As I am learning more and more about the power of layering, a cardigan (striped, nonetheless!) in this cut is going to be an essential for my wardrobe and I have zero regrets. I may wear this item until it is in rags.
All products on All Saints are 30% off online and in store for a limited time. No code required.
Now, I want to say "My rule is that if you don't need it at full price, you don't need it at a discount", but quite frankly, I didn't need any of the items I bought. I, like you, like many others who have not embraced a more minimal living style, like to treat myself. Also - as I'm in the midst of embracing a brand new style - when I find clothing that I think will work and it's at least 20% cheaper, I can't always resist as much as I would like to.
That said - on today of all days, despite my own failings, I urge you to be aware of throwaway culture, and the effects that fast fashion is having on the environment. I am no saviour of ethical fashion, but as I received my confirmation emails for these items, I began to ask myself - whilst Black Friday is a wonderful day for retailers and shareholders (and good for bloggers who use affiliate links, if we're going meta here) is it really good for us?
Well, hello there! It's been a very long time since I owned a blog - some of you who have followed my online journey for years might remember the blog I had to accompany my beauty channel on YouTube many a moon ago. When I deleted that channel back in 2016, I told myself that I was completely done with posting about fashion hauls, lookbooks, beauty tips - it didn't help that I really, really didn't know what I was talking about.
However, change appears to be constant throughout my life - nothing stays the same for very long. Over the past couple of months, as I've learned more about fashion through stylists I've worked alongside, I've found myself wanting to make more effort in finding a style I really enjoy wearing.
Ever since I was very young, I've struggled to identify with a 'look' that makes me feel like I am truly at my most defined. I was always uncomfortable in floaty, flowery dresses, and whilst band hoodies are always comfortable, I always felt as though my small frame was drowned in clothes that didn't accentuate my figure.
Very recently, however, I feel as though I've begun to found a balance - clothes that suit my personality, that are comfortable to wear and easy to pair with complimenting pieces. This leather jacket from Topshop is truly a piece that fits with almost any look - whether it's pieced with a crop top and skirt, over a dress, or - as shown above - with a basic slogan tee and high waisted denim.
Another huge discovery for me (believe it or not...) is just how much a simple belt can change the look of the jeans you're wearing. For the longest time (as in, until about two weeks ago) I didn't use belts at all - I didn't even own one. I always figured that, so long as my jeans fit, I didn't need a belt, right? However, using belts purely for aesthetic - accentuating the waist as well as defining the divide between top and bottoms - was a revelation for me. Now, I find it very difficult to pop on any jeans of any colour without a belt. I know it sounds daft that I never owned a belt, but I'm sure there are many of you out there right now who are just like I was!
Finally, the last huge change to my style - besides the new darker 'do, the return of the blunt fringe and the dedication to large hoop earrings - is my new love of headscarves. Headscarves that are rolled up at the nape of the neck and tied up at the crown are huge right now - as someone that has never suited headwear (hats truly look ridiculous on my tiny head), finding a head accessory that is so easily interchangeable has been a life-changer. (How dramatic to call it a life-changer, come on...)
There are a ton of headscarves that can be found in high street stores, but the pleated headscarf from Zara shown in the picture above is one of my favourites - I love headscarves with animal print, such as snakeskin, but the leopard print contrasting with a bright red outer border really stands out on a look that is mostly monochrome in colour.
Over the next few weeks, a lot is changing for me - I'll be sure to share it with you in the near future. For now, please follow me on Instagram and Twitter and let me know any suggestions you have for blog topics! I've really missed writing, even if I'm not all that good at it. Also, not every post will be this long. I promise.
