Gradual and Consistent (2019 Resolutions)

*Striped Top - Topshop

*Leggings - River Island

Head scarf - Pull & Bear

So, long time no post. I shouldn't be amused that something so relatively new as this blog can already be falling behind in terms of posting, but there is something to be said of my consistent... inconsistency.

On that topic, let's talk about time. Last night whilst doing the dishes, I was switched on to a video by a creator known as Chubbyemu (Bernard is behind one of my all-time favourite YouTube channels - I find his Medical Monday videos absolutely fascinating!) that describes the concept of relating your success to time-based goals in such a compelling, articulate way that I could never attempt to do myself. I urge you to pop this video on this evening and really listen to what Bernard says - it doesn't matter how long it takes for you to achieve success, and achieving success later than you imagined does not equal failure. What matters is that you continue to chase your goals, in spite of failures and setbacks, and remembering that you are supposed to arrive at your goals as the person you have grown to become at that certain time.

The end of December is typically dedicated to reflecting on the past twelve months and looking towards the new year in terms of personal development - and the rise of use in social media has contributed to an absurd amount of pressure to be at your absolute best as soon as January 1st rolls around. Let me state right here and now that any form of self-improvement is a gradual, consistent journey - you will never be fully happy with your life and how you perceive yourself as a person, no matter how many self-help books or bloggers tell you to 'just accept yourself and your flaws'. Whilst that sounds very nice, the lack of ability to accept yourself in practice (after being told how simple life will be after you manage it) may result in you feeling worse - why is it that you're being told to be happy with yourself as you are, and yet you cannot be? You will always chase more success. You will always believe you could (in theory...) wake up earlier. You could always make more time for friends.

It is the acceptance that change is not only gradual (if you set up a goal to achieve with immediate effect, you will fail, and feel the burn of failure) but consistent throughout your life that will open your mind to be more accepting of your perceived setbacks and more embracing of your perceived flaws. It is also a common mistake to set New Years resolutions that are merely a carbon copy of somebody else's. Although 'go to the gym twice a week' sounds good when someone else tweets it out, if you do not sincerely believe it is a change that is manageable - and genuinely beneficial to your life - you will not achieve it.

One way to create achievable, realistic resolutions is to flip the concept on its head - instead of immediately (blindly) looking for generic things you can improve, look back at some things you wish you had done better/more of this year. For example, here are a few things I believe I could have done in 2018:

• I could have read more books. I could have read one book. I literally got through the majority of one book of North Korean fiction during train journeys, and a small portion of Lily Allen's autobiography during a two-hour flight to Oslo (which I have yet to return to!)
• I could have created more content - not necessarily videos, but looked at blogging and other platforms earlier in the year.
• I could have eaten healthier - once again, I slipped into binge-eating entire share bags of potato crisps which - while delicious - has had a noticeable impact on my health and energy levels.
• I could have tried harder to wake up at an earlier time in the mornings - on days where I did have an early start I was always amazed at just how much can be accomplished before lunch, and I enjoy the feeling of completing every task I set out for myself for a whole day.
• I could have taken more time to assess what type of video content truly makes me happy to create - earlier in the year I convinced myself that trying a popular format that others were doing would make me successful, and in turn, that would make me happy and I would slowly begin to enjoy that content. That is not the correct way to find pride in your work.

Knowing that I personally let myself down on these aspects does not fill me with shame - whilst shame can be a good emotion for progress, the power of positive thinking (if you are in a healthy enough frame of mind to create it) is so much stronger than the feeling of disappointment. I know that all of these personally-perceived 'failings' are things I can gradually and consistently improve on, and whilst I am not aiming to have all of these resolutions completed perfectly by the end of 2019, stepping into the new year, I will begin to really focus on:

• Reading more books (I am not setting a numerical target - time and amount-based goals imply deadlines, and that is not the way I wish to improve on myself)
• Increasing video production (I have tons of ideas that I am really passionate about so I believe this will be a natural progression for me next year)
• Beginning to giving thought into creating a podcast, and, if a format seems doable and enjoyable for me, create one (would you listen to me rambling about certain topics? Do you have suggestions?)
• Looking towards learning to cook more meals from scratch and relying less on ready meals; not going shopping on an empty stomach as this leads to buying too many snacks (but no way am I cutting out snacks entirely, crisps are life)
• On certain allocated days where I wish to be very productive, aiming to wake up earlier (and go to bed hydrated the night before)
• Only making video content that I truly believe in, and if I am not 100% proud whilst filming and editing, then do not upload it.

I understand that looking at what you deem to be 'failures' in order to create resolutions is not for everyone - however, I cannot and will not ever buy into this idea that we can ever be truly happy with everything we do, or fully accepting of who we are as people. Whilst I love this idea in theory, in practice it breeds social media competition, jealousy, shame, and a feeling of failure when we no longer see ourselves as 'perfect' the way we are. I am choosing to skip the negative feelings and already accept that I will always create new ways to improve on myself, and I welcome the idea that becoming a better human in my own eyes gradually and consistently for the rest of my life is the right way forward.

Also, as I touched upon earlier - do not make a resolution just for the sake of it, and do not set yourself a deadline of December 31st - once again (and for the final time!) genuine change is gradual and consistent throughout your entire life. New Years resolutions should not be about what you aim to achieve in one year - they should be little ways to live out the rest of your life as a happier human being that slowly become reality over any amount of time.

Labels: personal